Thursday, March 10, 2011

Whining...and my big girl pants

It seems I have stumbled into a week off of fitness. I have failed to take care of myself forming this downward spiral of self loathing. I feel fat and ugly. Just having that feeling is exhausting, and leads me to not have the energy to work out. Of course that just makes me feel worse; you can see the downward spiral.

I feel stuck, unmotivated and mad as hell. I have made it this far. Part of me is tired of the journey I think. I work and struggle, it feels like less like a lifestyle and more like a job right now. I am eager for my work out to be something more I get to do, not have to do.

Sure the above is a mindset. It is more than that though; I still don’t like my body 50% of the time. When I look I the mirror, I can’t see the .45 lbs I lost last week. A month from now I will see the 5-10 lbs I lost but by then I have readjusted.

In the same vein I was just told that I look “skinnier” today so there is that….also I will stop whining and go to the damn gym.

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