So on Monday, after having a glorious day of lounging and getting to bask in the sun, my Texas skin tans nicely in the Wisconsin sun, after all. I went to a friend’s house and was enjoying the company of my sweetie and my friends. I got a call from my father. My mom was in the hospital. My mom has not always been in the best of health. I was not overly shocked that she was in the hospital, and then I learned the circumstances. I was knocked on my ass, left the party in tears then I invited people to my place to distract me.
The first thing I must say is that my sweetie (@TheEduHater) has been amazing. He pets and loves on me, I am fairly sure at this point he would hide the body for me. My friends have come through and offered support that I don’t think I deserve, and I love them for it. Whether they know the full story or just part of the story they are there with wine, movies, ice cream and just simple support.
I have been effectively knocked on my ass and I am eating my feelings. Ice cream is something; I don’t eat a lot, even when I was heavier. Some how though once I heard about my mother all I wanted was ice cream. My friend came and picked me up and we bought a tub. Eating ice cream was easier than thinking why wondering if I should have been there. I have been raw, sad, and getting progressively more numb about it all. I know I need to step away and focus on myself, my goals and stuff but I feel like I need to shed my emotions first.
I love my mom. I have not always been the best daughter but I try and some how I have made her proud. I am not attentive enough, this I know. I promise I will be better though, I swear.