Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Wall

So yesterday I blogged about an abundance of energy that I had. That was totally true. I danced around the office alone THEN I went to the gym (it was far too hot and humid to walk outside). After that work got stressful as it usually does in the afternoon. I did not notice how much energy I spent until I got in my car. When I got home I crashed. I had plans for when I got home. I was going to make dill chicken and put it on a bed of greens. I was going to do some laundry and hang out with my sweetie instead I passed out on the couch and woke up to e an incredible bitch.

So why did I hit the wall with such accuracy? I think it is a combination of things. First I think I need to eat more, I am still consistently low on the calorie side even though I feel like I am eating all the time. I also think that the feeling of being overwhelmed at work zaps my energy. I have so much on my desk that I am at the point of shutting down. That feeling transferred from work to my home. That is not ok, I don’t want to be a whiney bitch because work makes me feel bad at home. My job (note job not career) is not worthy of fucking with my home life any more. I think my job is turning me into a petulant child.

I feel like I am always fighting the same battles. I am always struggling to find at least contentment at work or not even that but a little bit of control. It is just that shit rolls down hill and I am so deep in it that I can’t find a way out. Any idea how I can fix this? What measures can I take to get control of this runaway train before I destroy the things in my life that I actually love?

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