Friday, February 17, 2012

Frantically Alien

I am not feeling like myself. It is this whole winter BS thing, I think. It is cold and dreary outside; there is no snow on the ground which at least makes it feel warmer. When the sun is out it barely bites into the wind chill. I am having all sorts of trouble finding a daily rhythm and pattern.

There are several things fighting my daily pattern creation. The first is the weather; all the girls in my herd feel it. We desperately miss walking it out every night. We have tried going to the gym together but it is not the same. We went from getting 12-15 miles a week in to getting close to zilch over night, hell I went from getting 18-22 miles a week to nada. I have tried hitting the gym after work but before all my nightly activities but by the time I get home I feel frazzled and like I am running 20 minutes behind. It leaves me drained even if it provides energy. It doesn’t help that I hate the gym.

The other thing that has been causing my frantic-ness is my job. As I have said before I do not dislike my job but the company moved to Kenosha which is a 35 minute drive. It is not much but it is so hard to get out the door before 7:30 so I can get to work on time, I feel like I am running from the moment I wake up. It’s not even that my job is so far away, it is just living in a downtown area is hard to get out of. I hit 4 lights before I have gone 2 miles and heaven save me if there is a train.

Last are all the activities that keep coming up every weekend there is an event going on. This weekend we bowl for Big Brother/Big Sister among other things. I keep thinking I will have a weekend off but every weekend something comes up. Between birthdays, gatherings and gaming my weekends are so busy that when I do have most of the day off, I don’t want to do ANYTHING.

There was a time in my past where I would schedule myself a “vacation” at home when I felt frazzled. I would take a few days off of work and stay home and work to tighten my home. You can say that the Virgo in me finds comfort in the ability to have and maintain a clean home, and right now I am failing miserably. It is so strange but spending a day cleaning my house makes me feel centered, it’s better and cheaper than therapy. Since I can not have days off with out taking a pay cut I have not thought it was a good idea.

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